Teachers in a flap over kids locking lips

 While the problems of modern education are known to range from diminishing attention spans to peer pressure and the stress of intense competition, teachers, especially those dealing with pre-primary and primary section students in some city schools, have stumbled on a perplexing problem. These teachers complain that children as young as four and five years of age are increasingly greeting each other with a kiss on the lips rather than with the more traditional hug or handshake.

The issue was raised by a teacher at ‘Inspiring early childhood - Teachers growing together’, a conference for teachers held recently in the city. It turned into a source of much debate. Teachers say they were “unable to control” the growing trend. They, however, admitted that it was not early sexuality, but had more to do with imitating adult behaviour.

Swati Popat Vats, director of Poddar Jumbo Kids, speaking to Bangalore Mirror said: “I had addressed the gathering on emotional development when one of the teachers came up to me and explained that she saw many students greeting their peers with a kiss on the lips. After she spoke to me, a number of other teachers from reputed institutions also raised the issue. They believe that more and more children are taking to this form of greeting and that they did not know how to deal with it. The teachers had largely ignored this trend, but feel that something should be done about it.”

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the teacher who first raised the issue said: “I believe this is a growing problem. I have seen students in pre-school (aged between two and five years) greeting each other with a kiss on the lips. It’s not unusual for children to hug each other. That could be termed warmth behaviour, but smooching is certainly not accepted behaviour.”

She believed that parents were to blame for the issue. “Children see their parents kissing each other either while saying goodbye or in an intimate moment. Children imitate this behaviour,” she said. “Many of them see late night shows on TV with their child or children. As kids are unable to differentiate between fiction and non-fiction, they tend to imitate this behaviour. It begs the question: How much sexuality should a child be exposed to? Now, we cannot counsel the children as they are too small to understand the problem. The only solution is to counsel parents and to get them to help their kids understand the difference between good touch and a bad touch.”

Another teacher from a reputed school, said: “I don’t think children do this with bad intentions. However, this is the age of curiosity and a time when children want to explore. It is very difficult to make children understand what is right and what is wrong, so it will take some time to correct this behavioural trend.”

Vats is now organising a workshop in the first week of April for parents to help them deal with the issue. She has already uploaded content dealing with good touch versus bad touch on their website.

“We need to tell teachers, children and parents how to handle these issues,” she said. “I believe there are three reasons for this behaviour; watching television, parents not correcting their kids’ behaviour and working parents unable to devote much time to their kids. We concluded that this was not necessarily early sexuality but an imitation of what’s happening in their surroundings. In small families, where parents openly express their affection for each other, children tend to copy what they see at home. Secondly, with kissing so common on TV, working parents are not able to regulate what their kids are watching,” Vats added.

M S Thimmappa, leading psychologist and academician, said: “This is more of a cultural issue. Children do this because of “moderning”, where they tend to ape adult behavioural patterns. It is a worrying trend as it could lead to bigger issues.”